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ou have acted wisely by seeking a clarification about
the woman’s comment concerning divorce and Com-
munion. At times, some Catholics, even those with
much experience and devotion, pass on wrong or
incomplete information. Such people usually act sincerely, so I trust
you will forgive her insensitivity.
Your question touches on three inter-related matters: the status of
divorced Catholics who have not remarried; the connection between
Communion and reconciliation; and annulments.
To begin with, divorced, single Catholics like yourself are not
banned from Holy Communion. They never have been.
However, three of the four Gospels contain nearly identical and
clear statements by Jesus prohibiting divorce. The best known text is
Matthew 19:6. Jesus says: “They are no longer two, therefore, but one
body. So, then, what God has united man must not divide.” Parallels
appear in Mark 10:1-12 and Luke 16:18.
While the Lord’s opposition to divorce is indisputable, the Church
has long recognized that some relationships break down, making
common life impossible or even dangerous. In such cases, a sincere
Catholic, after prayerful reflection and competent counsel, may seek
a legal separation that perhaps culminates in a civil divorce.
Divorce, in itself, does not destroy a person’s relationship with
God and the Catholic Church. Indeed, over the years I have come to
know many exemplary Catholics who have endured the pain of di-
vorce and have generously used their talents – and even their divorce
experience – in the service of their fellow Christians.
Now, let’s consider reconciliation before Communion. While
divorce itself is not automatically a sin, the conflict that caused the
divorce may include a variety of sins like unrelenting anger, selfish-
ness, hypercriticism, and adultery. Surely, these require repentance.
Moreover, the adamant refusal of reconciliation, not divorce itself,
may require a person to abstain from Communion. I hasten to add
that this advice applies to everyone, not just divorced people.
The relevant Gospel text is quite clear, at least as unvarnished
as the Lord’s words about divorce. In St. Matthew’s version of the
Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says: “If you are bringing your offering
to the altar and there remember that your brother has something
against you, leave your offering there before the altar, go and be
reconciled with your brother first, and then come back and present
your offering.”
(Matthew 5:23-24)
Jesus here makes a remarkable demand: reconciliation with one’s
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Dear Fr. Kerper
I am divorced. Can I receive Communion?
If you would like to ask Father Kerper a
question, please e-mail [email protected].
your questions answered by a local pastor
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November/December 2008 | www.parablemag.com
Y
neighbor must always precede public worship of God. And
all of us, not just divorced people, are held to this radical
standard.
Reconciliation, of course, does not mean that divorced
people must reunite and remarry. Rather, it requires forgive-
ness, openness, and even love of the other person, not
romantic love but sober Christian love, that always wills the
good of the adversary, even the most obnoxious and repul-
sive. This may take years to accomplish.
Because of the Lord’s infinite patience and understand-
ing, I trust that he accepts even the smallest sincere impulse
toward reconciliation as sufficient fulfillment of his require-
ment that we reconcile before worshipping. However,
someone who deliberately refuses forgiveness and deepens
the wounds of a ruptured relationship – marital or otherwise
– should think twice before receiving Communion.
Now, let’s take a quick look at annulments, a complicated
matter susceptible to much misinformation.
If a divorced Catholic remarries without receiving an an-
nulment of the previous marriage, that Catholic is prevented
from receiving the sacraments of the Church. If a divorced
Catholic hopes to marry within the Church, he or she will
need a decree of nullity. Such a decree does not dissolve a
marriage, nor does it mean that the marriage never existed.
Instead, the decree simply states that the marriage was not
a sacramental marriage, and therefore not an obstacle to a
subsequent marriage within the Church.
Out of respect for the Sacrament of Matrimony, Church
law presumes that all marriages, including those contracted
by baptized people beyond the confines of the Catholic
Church, are true sacramental marriages until conclusive
evidence establishes the contrary.
— Father Michael Kerper is the pastor of Corpus Christi Parish in
Portsmouth
Dear Father Kerper: Three years ago my husband and I divorced. Since then, I
have worked hard as a single mother to raise my two children as Catholics. I have found a
welcoming parish, and enjoy bringing them to Mass. Recently, a prominent woman who goes
to that church stopped me after Mass and, in front of my children, told me that I cannot receive
Communion because I’m divorced. She said I was sinning by doing
so. I was devastated. Is she correct? What should I do?
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March/April 2009 | www.parablemag.com
Though the annulment process is couched in legal
language, it’s actually designed to foster healing and
reconciliation, rather than judgment and controversy. Some
people who have no desire to remarry have found the process
very helpful. To find out more, please contact our excellent and
compassionate Tribunal staff at 603.669.3101.
St. John I, pope and martyr May 18 | St. Bernardine of Siena, priest May 20 | Solemnity of the Ascension of the Lord May 21
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