3"
Scene 3
(Lights come up on the Claus’ kitchen. CENTER FORESTAGE there is a long table filled with
every type of goody you can imagine. Right in the center is a veggie tray. Santa and Mrs. Claus
are seated at the table when the lights go up.)
(Santa reaches for a cookie.)
Mrs. Claus: (Smacks his hand) No.
Santa: Just one cookie. I love cookies. (Santa reaches again for the cookies.)
Mrs. Claus: (Pulls the tray away) No. Have a radish.
Earl the Elf: (Enters STAGE LEFT just as Santa tosses the radish. It hits Earl the Elf in the
head.) Ouch! (Sits at table with Santa and Mrs. Claus and eats cookies.) These are so good!
These are the best cookies anyone ever baked. I love these cookies. These cookies are better than
snow on Christmas Eve. They are better than Christmas in July. They are better than--
Santa: (Interrupts Earl the Elf) I’ve been on this no cookie, no cake, no candy diet for two
weeks. Surely my suit fits and I can have cookies again?
Mrs. Claus: We could try your suit again, I suppose, and see if it fits.
Earl the Elf: (Jumps to feet) I’ll go get it for you, Santa! (Exits STAGE LEFT)
(After a second Earl the Elf appears far STAGE LEFT and motions to the audience to get their
attention.)
Narrator: What is that elf up to now? Poor Santa. He has no idea his suit has been switched.
Earl the Elf: (In a loud stage whisper) Psst! Hey! (Once the elf has the audience’s attention, he
shows them two Santa suits. The one that is half the size of the first and a new one that is even
smaller. He puts his hand on his stomach and pantomimes laughing. He throws the larger one
over his shoulder and walks STAGE CENTER with the smaller one.) Here you go, Santa.
Santa: (Stands) I am sure this suit will fit. I have missed out on Mrs. Claus’s chocolate chip
cookies, her gingerbread cookies, and her sugar cookies.
(Santa tries to put an arm in the suit, but it is obviously way too small. Santa should spend
several minutes trying to force the suit on when it obviously will not fit. The more physical he
can make the attempt the better. He should fall over a chair, do a somersault, etc.)
Mrs. Claus: Oh dear. Santa, I don’t think it is going to fit. (Mrs. Claus holds the suit out in front
of her and stares at it for a minute.) There is something strange about this suit.
(Lights fade and the three exit STAGE RIGHT.)
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