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My Final Wishes
We plan and prepare for most events of our lifetime, yet few of us prepare for that
nal event. Making nal arrangements can be overwhelming for your family. Clear
choices may be dicult to make. When passing occurs, there are many decisions
that will have to be made in a very short period of time. By completing these pages,
you will spare your family the added burden, both emotionally and nancially, of
having to make these decisions for you.
The ultimate gift of peace we can give to those we leave behind is to make our
wishes known in writing.
Every adult should complete this book for their own peace of mind and for the
benet of their family. You are doing this for them. Please complete this document
on a computer or in pencil so that changes can be made in the future.
This Book Contains the Personal Wishes of:
Last Updated on
___________________
Date
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Table of Contents
Table of Contents ........................................ 2
Funeral and Burial Arrangements ......................... 3
Death Certicate Information ............................ 4
Organ Donation ......................................... 5
Disposition of Your Body ................................. 6
Disposition of Cremated Remains ........................ 7
Cemetery ................................................ 8
Grave Markers ........................................... 9
Casket/Vault Selections .................................10
Preparation of Your body ................................11
Obituary Information ...................................13
Notications ............................................ 18
Important Papers & Information .........................21
Viewing the Body .......................................23
Funeral or Memorial Service .............................24
Pallbearers .............................................25
Readings ...............................................26
Music ..................................................26
Flowers and Donations .................................27
Service Program ........................................28
Memorial Table .........................................28
Video ...................................................29
Post-Service Event ......................................29
Instructions for Your Digital Assets ......................30
Special Notes to My Family ..............................32
Notes — Continued .....................................33
Options for Veterans ....................................35
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Funeral and Burial Arrangements
The rst decision a family has to make when a loved one passes is which funeral
home to call. You can relieve the stress on family members by making this decision
on your own in advance.
Funeral Home:
Contact Person:
Address:
City, State, Zip:
Telephone:
Fax:
Web site:
Have funeral arrangements been pre-paid? Yes No
Where is the funeral home contract located?
Notes:
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Death Certicate Information
Full Name:
Maiden Name:
Date of Birth: Place:
Sex: Race:
Full Name of Father: Birthplace of Father:
Full Maiden Name of Mother: Birthplace of Mother:
Social Security Number:
Marital Status: Spouse’s Name:
Occupation: Employer:
Type of Business: Years at Occupation: Education (years completed)
Residence Address:
City, State, Zip:
County: Years in County:
Military Service (year) to (year) Branch of Service:
Served Where?
Death Certicate information varies from state to state. Additional information may be required to
complete the Death Certicate. Veterans — be aware of benets that may be available to you and
the information that may be required. See Page 33.
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Organ Donation
Organ donation has become more popular and accepted. Each year, thousands of
people benet from eye and other organ donations. This is a very personal decision
that should be discussed in advance with your family. This will avoid conicts and
allow organs to be taken promptly by medical professionals.
Organ donation is governed by state regulations. In most states, organ donation can
be indicated on your driver’s license or by lling out and carrying a special organ
donation card. Visit the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services web site at
www. organdonor.gov/ or contact your local hospital or medical association. Your
health care provider should also be able to assist you to make an informed decision.
Organs to be donated:
Eye donor: __________________________________________ Yes No
Organ Donor: _______________________________________ Yes No
Entire Body: ________________________________________ Yes No
Special Instructions:
Where is any additional documentation for this decision (if any) located?
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Disposition of Your Body
There are many choices to consider when making decisions for nal disposition of
the body.
1. Embalming is for the temporary preservation of the body and allows viewing
of the body for relatives and friends. This may include a full funeral, graveside
service, burial without a funeral service, entombment in a mausoleum or
cremation.
For those choosing cremation following a funeral service, most funeral homes
have a rental casket available.
2. Immediate cremation with no services.
3. Immediate cremation followed by a memorial service, with or without the
cremated remains being present.
4. Immediate burial, either without services, or followed by a memorial service.
These choices may be very dicult for family members when they have no idea
what you may have wanted.
Note: Questions concerning state and/or federal laws and regulations of funeral
practices may be answered by consulting with your local funeral director.
Each choice creates various decisions that will need to be made. These will be
covered on the following pages:
I would like:
Immediate cremation
Embalming followed with cremation
Immediate burial
Embalming followed by burial
Special Instructions:
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Disposition of Cremated Remains
Choosing cremation requires decisions about nal disposition of cremated remains.
Cremated remains are customarily returned to the family in a cardboard or plastic
container, unless an urn has been purchased and provided to the crematory or
funeral home.
Urns are available in many styles and shapes and sizes. Most funeral homes have a
display and/or catalogs of available choices.
Cremated remains can be buried in a cemetery lot, placed in an above ground
columbarium niche designed for cremated remains, or the family may take the
cremated remains for scattering or they may be kept by the family. (Check state laws
regarding scattering).
Most cemeteries allow one set of cremated remains and one casket to be buried
in one lot, or two cremated remains in one lot. Call or visit cemeteries to make an
Informed decision.
Special Instructions:
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Cemetery
Making a trip to the cemetery and selecting a burial plot is one of the most
dicult issues facing a family making funeral arrangements. Choosing your nal
resting place and having it purchased in advance is another act of love that you
can accomplish long before the need arises. Today’s mobile society can make this
decision dicult. Your family may be faced with:
A. Burial where you are now
B. Burial near family members
C. Burial in another state
D. Burial in your home town.
This is not an easy decision without your guidance. Most cemeteries give you an
option of earth burial or above-ground entombment in a mausoleum. If these
are choices you want to consider, you will need to inquire at the cemetery of your
choice. Many cemeteries have sections designated for religions, veterans, etc. Be
aware that many older or smaller cemeteries may not have a mausoleum.
Cemetery of choice:
Address: Phone:
City, State, Zip:
Earth Burial: Mausoleum:
If pre-purchased, where can the paperwork be found:
Special Instructions
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Grave Markers
Before purchasing a grave marker, nd out the type of markers the cemetery of your
choice will allow. Some will allow only at markers; others will allow upright or at
markers. Many funeral homes have displays of available markers, or you can visit a
monument company where they are made. There are many types: granite, marble,
other stones, bronze or other metals. Markers can be pre-purchased and installed at
the cemetery with names and birthdates already inscribed, or your family can wait
until the time of need to complete inscriptions.
Inscriptions can be as simple or detailed as you desire. Pictures, emblems or other
details can be added.
Marker selected and paid for: Yes No
Marker already set: Yes No
If not already purchased, type of marker you prefer:
Special designs or inscriptions preferred:
Other Instructions:
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Casket/Vault Selections
If you have chosen to be buried or entombed, a casket will need to be selected.
There are many choices available — it is no longer limited to a pine box. Choices
include many types of metals, woods or berglass. There are sealing and non-sealing
caskets. Interiors include a wide variety of fabrics, colors and designs. Visit your
funeral home of choice for help in making these decisions.
Describe your casket preference:
Most cemeteries require an outer receptacle in which the casket will be placed for
burial. Check with the cemetery directors for guidance in making these choices.
Describe your preference:
If your choice is entombment in a mausoleum, most do not require an outside container other
than the casket. Again, check with the cemetery directors for advice.
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Preparation of Your Body
Burial Clothing
Traditional funeral attire is giving way to personal choice. If you have never been
comfortable in a suit, white shirt and tie, this may not be your choice for burial.
You may prefer your favorite golng attire with, perhaps, your favorite golf club
at your side. Or maybe you would prefer a favorite annel shirt and jeans. For a
female, a favorite dress or suit may be your choice — or maybe you prefer a favorite
nightgown, fuzzy robe and slippers. Remember — the choice is yours.
The process of going through the closet of a loved one to select funeral attire can be
very stressful for family members. You can relieve that stress by making your choices
known.
Describe the burial clothing you would prefer:
Hair
Describe how your hair should be styled. A recent photo can be very helpful.
Do you have a regular hair dresser who should be called to style your hair?
Please give name and phone number:
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Cosmetics
Make-up instructions: foundation color, lipstick color, eye shadow, rouge, etc.
Fingernail polish? Yes No Color: __________________________
Other instructions:
Note: a favorite perfume or aftershave is nice to have available. Your familiar scent can have a very
comforting eect for your family.
Jewelry
There are no state laws regarding whether or not jewelry may be buried with the
deceased. Many people prefer to have jewelry on their body during visitation and
funeral, then removed before burial.
What is your jewelry preference:
Return jewelry to (name):
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Obituary Information
Newspapers and Notices
List the newspapers in which you, your family and friends would like your obituary
to appear. If you do not know the name of the paper, list the city and state. Include
places where you lived, worked or were involved in community, business or social
activities. You may also want to include places where there are people who should
be aware of your death. More and more, newspapers are charging for obituaries and
even more if they have to prepare it.
Newspaper Name: City/State:
Photo
Many newspapers include a photo of the deceased with the obituary for a fee; some
will charge extra for this service.
Would you like a photograph included? Yes No
Place your selected photograph with this booklet or a note where it is kept.
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Obituary Information
Preparing your obituary in advance is a good idea for several reasons. It gives you a
chance to reect on your favorite events and memories. You can tell your story your
way, taking another burden o your family. And it helps evoke positive memories for
your favorite people during their grief.
Either attach a copy of the obituary text you have written to this booklet or outline
your thoughts below:
Obituary Text or Outline:
Special Accomplishments:
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Obituary Information
Career Overview:
Community Service:
Military Service and Citations:
Special Events, People and Places:
Church Information:
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Obituary Details
Survivors:
Include names of survivors and city/state where they reside. If names are ambiguous,
include gender.
Parents:
Grandparents:
Sons:
Daughters:
Step-children:
Brothers:
Sisters:
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Obituary Details (continued)
Step-brothers and sisters:
Grandchildren: (by name or a number):
Great-grandchildren: (by name or a number):
Others to be named:
Preceded in death by:
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Notications
Family members may be unaware of all the people or agencies to be notied of your
death. Please list full names (middle initials, too) and address, phone numbers of all
who should be notied. If more space is needed, use the blank pages at the end of
this booklet.
Pastor:
Executor:
Attorney:
Accountant:
Financial Advisor:
Insurance Agent:
Insurance Agent:
Employer:
Retirement Plan:
Retirement Plan:
Retirement Plan:
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Notications (continued)
Veterans Administration:
Social Security:
Medicare/Medicaid:
Bank:
Bank:
Bank:
Physician:
Other notications:
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Notify Family and Friends
List Full Name, Relationship, Address, Phone:
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Important Papers & Information
If the following documents are in a safety deposit box, be sure someone has copies.
Safety deposit boxes can be sealed for 30 days or longer following a death. Who has
copies of your important documents?
Full name, address, phone:
Where are the following:
Your will or living trust located?
Insurance Information: List all, with policy number and type:
Bank(s) information: List name(s), addresses, account types and numbers:
Who is signatory on (or can access) these accounts? (name, address, phone):
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Important papers and Information (continued)
(List on separate pages, if needed, and tuck into this booklet)
Loan Information (list company, address, account number and type):
Stocks, Bonds, Mutual Funds (attach list if necessary):
Power of Attorney:
Medical Power of Attorney:
Do Not Resuscitate Order (Advance Directive):
Mortgage/Deed(s):
Credit Cards:
Where do you keep bills to be paid:
Jewelry:
Other Valuables:
Special Instructions:
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Viewing the Body
Whether or not to have your body on view before or during the funeral service, and
by whom, is a very personal decision. Your family’s level of comfort with the decision
is a real consideration. Some choose not to have a viewing while others feel it can
help the family accept death and say “goodbye.” For some, a viewing provides time
to reect on memories and private thoughts.
Children may have a dicult time when there is a viewing because they don’t know
what to expect. While funeral homes can do an excellent job of making the deceased
look natural, children may be disturbed by the stillness and coldness of the body.
If they will be attending the viewing, try to prepare them for the experience. Even
young adults may need preparation. There are other ways young people can say
“goodbye” without participating in the viewing. They can color a picture, write a
letter, choose a photograph or have one taken or create a special story or poem
about the deceased.
I would like to have:
A public viewing
A private viewing (family or invitation only)
A fully open casket
A partially open casket (usually from the waist up)
No viewing
Special Instructions:
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Funeral or Memorial Service
Today’s services often depart from past traditions. A more personal touch is
preferred, creating a relaxed and comfortable atmosphere for everyone involved.
Personalizing the service may require more planning and decisions, but the impact
on the people special to you can make it well worth the eort.
You can decide the type of service to have — or to not have a service.
Your options include:
Full funeral service with viewing
Full funeral service with no viewing
Graveside service ( no viewing)
Memorial service after burial (no viewing)
Viewing with no service
No service or viewing
Other—Special Instructions:
Location of service: (address, contact person, phone)
Services to be conducted by (name, address, phone):
Eulogy or memorial statements by (name. address, phone):
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Pallbearers
Pallbearers carry or walk next to the casket from the hearse to the gravesite. In a
military or dignitary’s funeral, they may carry or walk with it during a processional.
If the bearers will carry the casket, they must be physically able to do so.
Traditionally there are six to eight pallbearers. Honorary bearers who are not
physically able to carry the casket may also be appointed.
Pallbearers: (Name, address, phone):
Honorary Pallbearers: (Name, address, phone):
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Readings
Select favorite scriptures, poems or literary passages
List name, address and phone of who will read them:
Music
Choose your favorite types of music and songs. Be creative — rather than an organ
or vocalist, you might choose a string quartet, guitar or barbershop quartet, worship
band or any combination of instruments and vocals you like. Play recordings of your
favorite artists or have friends, family or other artists sing or play.
Favorite Songs:
Musicians: (Name, address, phone):
Vocalists: (Name, address, phone):
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Flowers and Donations
Flowers can create a warm atmosphere at a service. Some people prefer to send
donations in lieu of owers, and you can ask mourners to send donations instead
of owers.
Flower and Arrangements Preferences:
Preferred Florist: (Name, address, phone)
Church and/or Charities to Receive Memorial Donations: (Name, address, phone):
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Service Program
The program for a funeral or memorial service typically presents the order of events,
speakers and music for the service. It can provide a lovely keepsake for family and
guests. The program should reect the personality and style of the deceased in a
meaningful way.
Personalize the program with your favorite pictures, art, graphics, quotations, Bible
verses, poems or special readings. Include drawings by children or grandchildren on
the cover. Consider including lyrics for the songs sung during the service, or the text
of the readings. The whole family can contribute to the design and content.
Program Preferences:
Memorial Table
A memorial table creates a personal touch and invites conversation and
reminiscences. You and friends and family can choose photos, crafts, stories,
newspaper clippings and other memorabilia for the table. Guests can be asked to
bring mementoes to leave on the table or to share with the family and guests. The
table can be set up at a funeral service, memorial, post-service event or at a family
member’s home.
Memorial Table Preferences:
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Video
In place of, or in addition to the memorial table, families might create a
commemorative video. The video is played at the service and provides a special
keepsake for family. Copies may be presented to special friends or guests.
The video can contain sequences from other family videos showing the deceased
at home, work or special events. Family or friends may be asked to tell a favorite
story, or talk about the deceased’s accomplishments and good qualities. A photo
montage of favorite family photos can dene the life of the deceased. Sequences
made especially for the video might include an arrangement of the person’s awards,
medals or favorite collections. Favorite music or visual sets can be added to the
background.
Video Preferences:
Post-Service Event
Some families have a reception at their home, a restaurant or some favorite place
after the service. Planning in advance with family and friends will help the event run
more smoothly.
What type of event is planned?
Where will the event be held? (Name/contact, address, phone):
Who are the event planners? (Names/Contact, address, phone):
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Instructions for Your Digital Assets
Your iTunes library is valuable both monetarily and as an artifact of your life, so you’d
like to leave it to your children. Legally, you probably can’t, but as a practical matter,
you can share your online assets in a limited fashion, as long as you plan ahead.
And it’s not only your iTunes library of music and movies. Do you have e-books
stashed on a Kindle or Nook? Do you sell items on eBay or use PayPal? Bitcoins? A
recent survey (2018) found that Americans value their digital assets at more than
$54,000 on average.
This is obviously a quickly changing area in our later lives! One problem is that
generally you don’t actually own the digital music and books on your computer and
mobile devices…you’ve only bought licenses to listen and view those products and
these items are governed by the terms-of-service agreement to which you agreed
upon opening the account.
Here are some ideas about how to share your online music, book and social media
accounts with your heirs:
You MAY be able to download some types of music les to your computer or a hard
drive and bequeath this to your heirs. Similarly, with an e-reader, until the account
becomes inactive, you could bequeath the reader and a person could access your
digital library. If you store Bitcoins in a digital wallet, you could provide your user ID
and password to your designated heir so they can access your account. To be more
safe, due to the danger that hackers might access your account, it is possible to pull
your Bitcoins, which consist of serial numbers, o the network and put them into
a safe in your home or a bank safe-deposit box. For more information read Bitcoin
Foundation guide on protecting your Bitcoins.
Photo websites
If you’ve posted photos online you want your heirs to receive, it is best to make
backup copies, store in a safe place and make sure your executor knows where to
nd such items.
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Email
Grieving families are often shocked to nd they can’t gain access to their loved one’s email
messages. Most email services delete a person’s account at death and with it, the data. For
this reason, it is important to leave behind a list of your accounts, including each account’s
username and password plus instructions as to what you’d like done with each account.
Google eases this process by oering its Inactive Account Manager. The tool lets
you control how your Gmail and other Google accounts are handled after your
death. You dictate who should be notied in the event your account is inactive for
a specied period; you also decide whether your trusted contact should be able to
download the data or whether the account should be deleted.
Social-media sites
Facebook allows you to choose a “legacy contact.” This is someone you choose to
look after your account if it’s “memorialized.” Once your account is memorialized, your
legacy contact will have the option to do things like: Write a pinned post for your
prole (example: to share a nal message on your behalf or provide information about
a memorial service), respond to new friend requests, update your prole picture and
cover photo. Request the removal of your account. You also have the option to allow
your legacy contact to download a copy of what you’ve shared on Facebook, and
Facebook may add additional capabilities for legacy contacts in the future.
My social media usernames and passwords are:
Facebook
Twitter
Linkedin
Instagram
Snapchat
Gmail/email accounts
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Special Notes to My Family
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Notes — Continued
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Notes — Continued
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Options for Veterans
Information from the veteran’s service records and discharge papers may be required
to be eligible for the following services. Such records are available from the National
Personnel Records Center and can take up to six months to obtain. For information
contact Department of Veterans Aairs National Cemetery Administration at
www.cem.va.gov/.
Survivor Benets: The spouse and children of deceased veterans may be eligible
for nancial assistance in the forms of dependency compensation, death pension,
education assistance, vocational training, life insurance payouts and home loans.
For information, visit www.vba.va.gov/bln/dependents/index.htm.
Burial Assistance: In some instances, the veteran may be eligible for a burial
allowance. Contact the Department of Veterans Aairs at 1-800-827-1000, as
decisions are made case-by-case, based on income.
National Cemetery Burial: Veterans may choose to be buried or have a marker in
a national cemetery. Spouses may also be buried in national cemeteries. National
cemeteries may provide burial space, a concrete liner, park maintenance and a
memorial marker. Vaults can also be purchased — your funeral home should be
able to assist with this option. If a veteran is cremated and wants a plaque in a
national cemetery, a statement regarding disposition of cremated remains must be
attached to the Department of Veterans Aairs plaque request form. For complete
information, visit www.cem.va.gov/.
Burial With Military Honors: Veterans or service personnel who have died while
on active duty may also be eligible for burial with military honors. A web page,
MilitaryFuneral Honors has complete information:
www.militaryfuneralhonors.osd.mil/ index.
American Flag Memorials: Next of kin of a deceased veteran is eligible to receive
an American ag, at no cost, from the Veterans Benets Administration. Only one
ag is provided and it will not be replaced. The ag may drape the casket and then
be folded for display. Most funeral homes have appropriate display cases. The funeral
director or next of kin may request a ag at www.cem.va.gov/bags.htm.
Presidential Memorial Certicates: Family members of a deceased veteran may
request a Presidential Memorial Certicate to honor the veteran’s memory. The
certicates are engraved and signed by the current president. The veteran’s spouse
and children may all receive certicates. Visit the web page of the Department of
Veterans Aairs National Cemetery Administration at www.cem.va.gov/pmc.htm.
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My Final Wishes Plan is Provided by
Charitable Estate Planning Northwest
8011 NE 20th Street
Vancouver WA 98664
360-546-3300
503-620-5173
